I’ve worked at various mental health organizations, including the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the 988 Lifeline, the Crisis Text Line and Active Minds, as well as on research teams for adolescent suicide prevention. “Suicide” has never been an untouchable word. 

But now, it has been disguised by "Gen-Z speak," with Kurt Cobain’s death at the center of the conversation. 

On Friday, a social media user tweeted an image from the Nirvana exhibit at the Museum of Pop Culture in Seattle. A placard dedicated to the “27 Club” read, “Kurt Cobain un-alived himself at 27.” 

The tweet now stands at 5.9M views, and the negative response to the MoPop’s word choice has been nearly unanimous, with users calling the term "unalive" "tacky" and "disrespectful" towards Cobain’s struggle with mental illness. The museum did not immediately return USA TODAY's request for comment.

But where did the word “unalive” come from, and is it hurtful or harmful to conversations around suicide? Experts and youth mental health advocates say the language we use to discuss suicide matters, and while there are settings where “unalive” can be beneficial, it is not a replacement for “suicide.”

According to Dr. Ken Duckworth, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Chief Medical Officer, it is important to acknowledge the complexity of language evolution around mental health, but safe and respectful communication around suicide must remain a priority.

“This is uncharted territory,” he says.

'Unalive' exists because of censorship of the word 'suicide' 

“Unalive” refers to death by suicide or homicide and was popularized by social media users as a workaround against algorithms on sites and apps, such as TikTok, that censor posts containing discussions of explicit or violent content — including the words “suicide,” “kill” and “murder.” 

Efe Osagie, a 24-year-old digital organizer, youth mental health advocate and NAMI Next Gen advisor, says “unalive” can be seen as a creative term that allows people to discuss their struggles in online contexts without fear of their posts being removed or suppressed by algorithms. In these circumstances, using a term like “unalive” can be a practical tool for facilitating conversations around mental health while avoiding censorship. 

According to Deborah Tannen, a professor in the linguistics department at Georgetown University, it is common for people to object to neologisms, meaning emerging words or phrases, but that language is designed for constant evolution. 

“It tends to be young people that adopt different words, and often create them,” Tannen says. “Older generations will complain because it’s not how we act and talk, and the things we associate with it may be different from the way those at the forefront do.”

However, avoiding a word can give it a negative connotation. “The fact that you can’t say it makes it unsayable,” Tannen adds. 

As language formed within digital settings to avoid censorship permeate into colloquial use, there is a risk of framing “suicide” as a “bad word.”

Removing the word 'suicide' can subtly further mental health stigma

According to Dr. Jill Harkavy-Friedman, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Senior Vice President of Research, the way we talk about suicide should mirror other health outcomes. 

Similarly to how you would say someone “died of cancer,” “suicide” and “died by suicide” are clear terms that convey a specific meaning.

“Equating ‘unalive’ with ‘died by suicide’ can have a negative impact on suicide prevention,” she says. “An unintended consequence of disguising the word ‘suicide’ might be the subconscious association that one needs to disguise feelings of suicide or should feel ashamed, and no one should feel ashamed about their experience.”

Claire Bradley, a 22-year-old mental health and inclusion advocate and NAMI Next Gen advisor, also cautions that the use of “unalive” in informative settings counters the work of advocates to break the stigma around talking about suicide. 

“I could totally see someone thinking that they are using the most correct terminology by using ‘unalive’ if they just don't know what the correct terminology is,” Bradley says, underlining the importance of widely promoting responsible communication around suicide. 

"When referencing suicide, the terminology people use can vary widely, reflecting personal, cultural, and contextual differences that highlight the importance of sensitivity and understanding," Dr. Shairi Turner, Chief Health Officer at Crisis Text Line, says. "Best practices include using clear and direct language, and not shying away from the word 'suicide,' since research shows that using the term does not increase the risk of suicidal ideation."

It 'runs the risk of trivializing suicide'

Context is crucial when discussing suicide, and in Osagie’s experience, she often comes across “unalive” in a joking manner. 

Jokes about suicide or speaking in code can be painful for people who are experiencing suicidal ideation or have lost someone to suicide, according to Harkavy-Friedman. 

“Recoding suicide to 'unalive' runs the risk of trivializing suicide,” she cautions.

Bradley adds that “unalive” often has an “unserious” connotation and can be used as an expression of frustration. 

For Osagie, these blurred lines are a cause for concern. 

“When we rely on terms other than ‘suicide,’ it can be really difficult to determine whether someone has intent to harm themselves and whether they're actively in danger,” she says. 

Talking about suicide is suicide prevention

When I reflect on my training to become a certified crisis counselor at the Crisis Text Line, one reminder stands out: It is OK to ask directly about suicidal ideation. In fact, it’s a form of suicide prevention. 

According to Duckworth, every doctor is trained to ask directly about suicide, and families are encouraged to ask their loved ones directly as well. Though the term "unalive" doesn't necessarily come with malintent, it ultimately can detract from informative conversations around suicide.

“The concern is that this term can result in a person who is struggling with suicidal ideation feeling embarrassed or humiliated for thinking about ending their life if people aren’t talking about it directly,” Harkavy-Friedman says. “It’s important to talk about it and to know that you’re not alone.”

Suicide Lifeline: If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 any time, day or night, or chat online.

Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7, confidential support via text message to people in crisis when they text "HOME" to 741741.

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