Tip for misogynistic men: Stop thinking you're entitled to what you aren't
This really isn’t that hard.
Whether you are the "father of a daughter" or a "#girldad" is irrelevant. Anything else that uses the women in your life as cover for your bad behavior, too.
You aren’t entitled to women’s bodies. Or their affections. Or anything that will force them to choose between speaking out and saving their jobs, their livelihoods or their self-worth.
If these concepts are still too difficult to understand – and clearly they are, given the predatory behavior of the likes of the now-departed head of Spain soccer Luis Rubiales and the soon-to-be-departed Michigan State football coach Mel Tucker – here’s a shortcut: Treat women with the same courtesy and respect as you would a man.
Better yet, treat them as you expect to be treated.
Can’t fathom being subjected to an unwanted proposition by a superior or a co-worker or, well, anyone? Then don’t do it yourself!
Can’t imagine being treated as less-than in the workplace or at school? To be paid less and forced to jump through hoops your co-workers don’t? Then why on earth would you subject women to such conditions?!
Can’t comprehend something you had no control over – your gender, the color of your skin, your sexual orientation – impacting your safety and well-being? Consider yourself blessed and maybe have some empathy for those whom it does.
It is exhausting the minefields women have to navigate on a daily basis because of men who don’t see us as fully human. It is disheartening we're still having to fight this battle for basic decency, only making progress or seeing justice when the offenses are so egregious, the evidence so overwhelming, that the wrongdoings of these misogynists can no longer be ignored.
No, all men don't behave this way. But there are still enough who do that men like Tucker, Rubiales and Spain coach Jorge Vilda believed it was OK to treat the women around them in a multitude of demeaning ways and then, when they got caught, somehow see themselves as the victim.
Rubiales trotted out the "I’m the father of a daughter!" card two weeks ago when he defiantly refused to resign amid the furor that followed him groping and kissing Spain star Jenni Hermoso without her consent. As if you can’t see women as actual human beings, worthy of being treated with basic dignity, otherwise. As if having daughters somehow inoculates you from sexism and misogyny.
When he finally did resign Sunday, Rubiales said he did so after talking with his daughters. This was a mess Rubiales and Rubiales alone created. By dragging his daughters into it, saddling them with any responsibility for any of his actions, he reinforced how little respect he has for the women around him.
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Tucker is trying to blame Brenda Tracy, a rape survivor and the pre-eminent advocate for changing toxic masculinity in college athletics, for his sexual harassment of her. The "But she asked for it!" defense is maddening on its face. It’s also not very original, the same trope men have been using for centuries to get away with abuse of women.
And in Tucker's case, it looks likely to backfire. A statement Tucker released late Monday afternoon was reminiscent of Rubiales' attempts to smear Hermoso, rife with inaccuracies and convenient omissions, all of which were easily fact-checked. It also prompted a devastating rebuttal from Tracy, who said Tucker "can’t afford to go to a hearing that determines credibility of the participating parties."
No surprise, really. These guys are never as clever as they think they are.
TUCKER:denies sexually harassing Brenda Tracy in Monday statement
If they were, they’d have recognized you can save yourself most of the trouble by treating other people as you’d like to be treated. As the equals they are.
Had Rubiales kept his hands to himself, he’d probably still have a job. Had Tucker backed off the first time Tracy told him she wasn’t interested in him personally, he’d probably still be collecting that fat paycheck. And on and on it goes.
If men can’t be bothered to treat women decently simply because it’s the right thing to do, maybe they’ll be convinced when it finally dawns on them these repercussions can be avoided if they’d only treat everyone equally. Not see themselves as superior to anyone or entitled to anything.
Because they’re not. No one is.
It really is as simple as that.
Follow USA TODAY Sports columnist Nancy Armour on social media @nrarmour.
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